Bowser sighed as he threw his bag down on the bed. It felt good to be in a 
place where he would not be recognized, a place where he could forget the 
politics and actually exist like a normal being. Here he could do it. One of the 
many parallel worlds that existed alongside of each other. This was not a well-
known one. There had never been a video game made about it. And he liked it that 
way.
	It had been a bad year for the not so affectionately named Dark World. He 
had just pulled another of his kidnap-Princess Toadstool schemes again. The deal 
was simple, she snuck out of her hoity castle and would wait at the specified 
rendezvous point. His underlings would pick her up and bring her to his castle. 
He would send a ransom note. While they waited for the inept chubby plumber to 
"save" her, they would negotiate all of their political differences. Bowser was 
painted as a cruel tyrant with a lust for extra land for his spoiled kids. In 
return, she would grant his subjects protection against her land hungry ones. 
And when he let Mario rescue her, he would go home a hero, which would score her 
major publicity points when the putz actually proposed. With a hero as their 
future king, the mushroom kingdom would go down in history as a poor bullied 
world that survived with the help of a hero. The reality was that Bowser's world 
was the struggling one, and the only way to keep his throne and his people's 
pride was to make under the table deals with the neighboring worlds. He longed 
for the day he could tell that manipulative bitch to go fuck herself, but he 
knew he would never live to see that day. Someday he would have to tell his 
children about the real deal behind the "kidnappings." Not even Mario was in on 
it. And the princess kept stealing his power away from him. She had his land in 
a headlock and she wouldn't let go.
	He went into the restroom of the motel, splashing water over his thick, 
frizzy, almost fiery orange colored hair. He stared at himself for a while, 
trying to forget about his troubles. He lives for these days when he could steal 
away from the problems of his people, just another anonymous being looking for a 
good cup of coffee and an interesting book.
	Standing up from the sink, he turned sideways and checked out his profile. 
Both clawed hands squeezed his round gut. Just below his ribs, his belly grew 
outward, forming and almost spherical orange shape on his midsection. His yellow 
underbelly stretched out further than it ever should have. He had seen that 
famous painting of him, with his arms outstretched in front of him, his mouth 
open, showing his teeth, his hair slicked back, his pudgy stomach nearly 
covering his legs up to his knees. His left leg up, ready to take another step 
into the viewers way. A fat, bloodthirsty tyrant. That was what the painting 
portrayed. And the princess made sure that his plump evil visage was infamous 
enough. 
He left the bathroom in disgust. He looked nearly a hundred years older than he 
was (the Koopa clan was blessed with incredibly long life spans.) He was still 
young, but he felt older. He had seven kids who would be fighting each other for 
the throne. He had an adversary who would break his arm to get what she wanted. 
He had subjects who needed their best interests seen to constantly. And on top 
of that, he had these extra pounds to lose. Managing a diet would certainly 
raise his stress level. For a second, he thought he should begin trying top lose 
weight now. Out of the question. These trips were the only time he truly could 
enjoy himself. He would not make himself miserable for these few days he had to 
himself. His trips were few and far between these days.
While he smoothed his hair down, he stole another glance to the mirror. God, he 
hated that ball-busting whore in pink. She had done this to him. "Come on, 
Bowser. Enjoy yourself. Don't let her ruin this, too."

	Bowser arrived at the café a little later. He shifted his shell nervously 
as he entered, still worried someone would recognize him. There was a kind of 
respect here; he had seen several other prominent beings, and the unwritten rule 
was that nothing from the outside worlds penetrated this place. He gave the 
slight downward head motion to the other patrons, several of them he recognized. 
He could count on their silence, but he wasn't sure about anyone else. Every 
time he came here, he hoped no one would gossip if they recognized him. 
Newcomers were not always aware of the code of this area. Sadly, only one booth 
was unoccupied. He sat in it nyway, and her felt his shell press into his back, 
feeling his hips form a roll of fat around the edge. Contrary to Nintendo's 
perspective of him, he had no demon-like spikes on the back of his shell. But 
his orange-scaled stomach was too pudgy to fit into the booth. He felt it grip 
the edge of the table, feeling the rough edge covered in something that was a 
little sticky. His waitress was a tall, thin cat, with a deep voice that 
betrayed her smoking habit. But she was polite, and she knew better than to 
gossip.
	"What can I get you?"
	"I'll take a large latte," he replied, and the pressure of his bulging gut 
on the table made his next decision for him. "With skim milk, please, and two 
Equals." She smiled and went into the kitchen. He would not let himself get any 
tubbier.
Someone was sitting at a table nearby, their face buried in a newspaper. A 
familiar voice piped up from behind it. "It's been a while, Bowser." The 
newspaper dropped to reveal a face he had not seen in years.
	"Karl?"
	"K. Rool, as Rareware has so lovingly dubbed me. How have you been, old 
boy?"
Bowser smiled as he remembered the rotund alligator. They had been friends all 
those years ago, but they had respective kingdoms to run, and the had dropped 
out of touch. The immense reptile hadn't changed a bit; he looked just the same.
Bowser was at a loss of what to say, but Karl raised a fat hand to silence him. 
The waitress looked over to Karl.
	"Make his order to go, if you would, and put it on my tab." He turned back 
to the turtle monarch. "Kome, old friend, we must katch up. Take a walk with 
me."
They exited the café then, and walked down the street, towards the center of 
town. They took up the entire sidewalk between them, but Bowser momentarily 
forgot his latest trouble. He still could not find the words for his oldest 
friend. Fortunately, Karl always could fill a conversation gap.
	"How is that lovely wife of yours, Bowser?"
	"I divorced her years ago. I was stupid enough to think she loved me. She 
just loved my throne."
	"I'm sorry to her that." Karl was good at changing the subject without 
making his conversation partner confused. He was a very excellent speaker.
	"Things are not good in Dark World, I take it."
	Bowser averted his eyes before speaking. "Actually, everything is quite 
pleasant."
	"I don't buy it. Sorry, Bowser, but you are still so transparent. You are 
in a rut, I kan tell. Don't feel like relating your problems to an old friend?" 
Karl was ever the observant friend.
Bowser took a sip of his coffee and suppressed the urge to gag.
	"I should have known. Worried about your weight, is it?" Said the 
alligator, patting Bowser's tubby round stomach. Small ripples were sent up and 
down his torso, and he blushed.
	"well, yes. I was afraid I might. . ."
	"Look like me before long?"
	Bowser wouldn't have dared insult his friend like that, and when he knew 
Karl before, he would never have broken the ice on something he was so sensitive 
about. Karl had changed.
	"Listen, old boy. I am going to tell you about something that happened to 
me a few years ago.
	"I was in my ship, and I too was worried that I was too fat. I mean, look 
at me, I am so fat I kan't see my feet, and I have to sukk in my tummy and turn 
sideways to get through some doorways. I had just weighed myself, and I was 
feeling really down. I aktually told myself out loud that I was way too tubby, 
and I turned around to find that Klump had entered my chambers with a message 
for me. I was inkredibly embarrassed."
	Bowser's eye was caught by a cute young squirrel working in his favorite 
bookstore. As they passed, he eyed her up and down.
	"Klump is a rather chubby fellow himself. I had thought about ordering him 
to get even fatter than me, just to make myself feel thinner. And in that 
moment, he said something to me. 'God grant me the serenity to akcept the tings 
I kannot change, kourage to change the things that I kan, and the wisdom to know 
the difference.'"
	"That's well and good, Karl, but I happen to be an atheist."
	"So am I, Bowser. And that is exaktly what I told Klump. And he said 'then 
you don't really need someone to grant it, do you?'"
Bowser stopped moving for a second to thing about what Karl had told him. Karl 
turned to Bowser, now lost deep in thought.
	"I really need to get going, Bowser. Let me leave you with this one 
thought. We are reptiles, so we are doomed to be the bad guys in entertainment 
on Earth. We don't have fur, so we will forever be the villains. King Kong was 
the hero when fighting Godzilla. We will always be monsters in the eyes of 
humans. Forget all that. Mario, Link, Samus, Veronika, Donkey Kong, all of them 
can go to hell. Don't let them konvince you that you are substandard."
	The immense alligator waddled away, leaving Bowser to think about what he 
had come here to avoid.

	Bowser returned to the motel room not long after that. He remembered Karl 
much better now. He was always the one with the best advice, always the one with 
a shoulder to cry on (and quite a cushion it offered.) He had also been painted 
as a fat greedy monster by the Earthlings, and it would never change. Fuck it 
all.
He dialed a number on his cell phone, a number he had always dreaded dialing 
before.
	"Bowser, darling, it has been so long. We really must arrange another 
meeting. I wanted to discuss . . ."
	"Up yours, Peach." He said, and hung up. From now on, he would deal with 
her in a dignified manner. Unconsciously, he gripped a handful of his soft 
tummy, relishing the moment.
	He left a few minutes later, stopping at the café to get another cup. This 
time, he made sure it was with Half & Half and two real sugars. He then 
proceeded to his bookstore, hoping to find a god volume to drown himself in over 
the next few days. As he browsed through the endless stacks of well-thumbed used 
books, he felt someone bump into him from behind.
	It was the cute squirrel he had noticed earlier. She mumbled an apology, 
swishing her jet-black hair. Time seemed to slow down as he looked at her, and 
his eyes found their way to his expansive stomach. Somehow, he fought the urge 
to suck it in.
	"I'm Bowser." He said nervously.
	She regarded him for a moment. "Kylene" she said.
	"Do you get off soon?"
	"Yes, actually, in about ten minutes."
	With all the strength he had, he fought his self-consciousness about his 
chubby stature and his fear of rejection. "Would you mind terribly if I bought 
you dinner?"
	She gave a small smile. "Yes, that would be nice."